Oliver Lee Richards Part 1

Well, since my last post there has been a lot of developments. Namely the arrival of our newest, sweetest little man, Oliver Lee Richards! Let me start by saying that in all honesty Mommy and Daddy were trying for a baby girl. With Madden having his autism diagnosis, the likelihood of us having another child with Autism increases by roughly 18%. That being said, boys are much more likely to have Autism than girls, and since we already had a girl and were clear of the Autism diagnosis, we thought the baby might have better odds if she was a girl to not get the diagnosis.
Now I know what some are of you are thinking, how awful are these parents who would not be happy just to have any child at all, no matter what their disability may be. Well, I say to you that if we were really worried about having another child with Autism, we most likely would not try for another child at all. We love our Madden with all our hearts and we honestly wouldn't want him any other way than how he is. Having said that, any child with Autism is going to have more struggles than your average child, and have a harder time understanding the world around them. Madden is beyond any of our expectations and continues to surprise us everyday. However, would you not want your child to have to struggle in life if you thought you could do anything for them? We knew no matter what that we could have another child with Autism, and we decided that it was well worth that chance to bring another beautiful child into our life! So there, I have had my say.

Back to Oliver, I was given a due date for this precious bundle of December 26th. Now if you know me, I LOVE CHRISTMAS!! The thought of having a baby the day after Christmas sounded like a nightmare to me. How was I going to enjoy my beloved holiday season when I am nine months pregnant and miserable? I started immediately talking to my OBGYN about scheduling an induction and/or if that would be a possibility. I had scheduled an induction for Lainey because I was given the diagnosis of having Group Strep B, and when you have that you are told that you have to get a dose of antibiotic before you give birth or else the baby could get very badly sick when they are delivered.With Madden I had a very short labor and delivery and having known that second babies usually come much faster I was scared I would not get the antibiotic in time. So with Lainey they went ahead and got me scheduled for an induction and I was able to rest easy knowing that she would get the treatment needed. With Oliver I thought that maybe they would go ahead and do the same, given my history. Lucky for me they were very obliging and were able to get me scheduled for December 19th. That way I could prepare and get things ready before the holiday, and be home with my baby before Christmas day. I was so relieved once I was scheduled and ready to go.


I was actually positive (in my mind) that we were having another girl, until the ultrasound tech said, "Looks like you are definitely having a boy." I must say in all honesty I got a bit worried. Only because I knew the chance for Autism were greatly enhanced now, and I wasn't even thinking about boys at that time. The rest of the pregnancy I was in a bit of a fog. I honestly had never felt more vulnerable or worried about either of my other pregnancies as I was with this one. Maybe I was just feeling bad juju, or I know the problems that can arise in pregnancy and now being a mother of two other children I was more concerned about the worst case scenario's and what I had to lose. Any way you looked at it, the whole pregnancy was not too pleasant. I have never had good pregnancies, I always envied those women that would say, "I love being pregnant!". For me I always felt miserable, and extremely uncomfortable. I am quite positive that through all my pregnancies I have muttered the words, "I'm never doing this again!" However, once that baby arrives and you have a little time to heal, you forget about how miserable you are those 9 months and are ready to get back on the baby wagon. Well at least some people are anyway ;)

I might be the worst blogger ever, but I'm giving it a shot again!

I know, it has been another 2 years without a post..... What can I say? I feel like life is hectic and crazy, and who has time to blog about their day? Well, I am feeling like my children need something to look back on when I am no longer here, so hopefully that will keep me posting. I am sorry kids for not posting in a very long time. I hope you know that I will try and do better for your sake!

We got our diagnosis.

I have known for such a long time that Madden had autism, and while I never shied away from telling people about it I always felt like I was being judged for what I knew to be true. This of course can't be said for everyone that I told this to, but for some who don't know Madden that well, or maybe don't know much about autism, I always got the feeling that they thought I was misdiagnosing him. Believe me, I have read so many articles and watched so many video's on the subject that I actually feel like I should go back to school and make this a profession. That being said, I feel like I can breathe a sigh of relief and now look forward to spreading knowledge on the subject to anyone who might have questions about it.

 There is a long road ahead of us, for one thing we need to get some blood tests done to rule out any possibilities of any other abnormalities that usually go along with having autism. Once that is done than we are going to schedule him some more testing in speech, and other areas to really pinpoint where he needs the most services. When we went in for the diagnosis I asked Thomas how he felt about everything and he said, "I don't know if I feel anything, we already know that he has something so I don't know what the difference will be after we hear what they have to say," As we were sitting there waiting for the doctor to tell us our results I could see that Thomas's demeanor changed a bit. The finality of it all soon came to be when the doctor said, "The speech doctor and the psychiatrist both believe your son to have autism." Then came the results of his testing which was a little harder to swallow. His language skills are that of a 2 year old, and I actually found that hard to believe because I have an easier time communicating with Lainey than I do with Madden. That is when the doctor told me that Lainey might actually be ahead of the curve. An interesting thing to hear is that your five year old is quite behind and your two year old is more advanced. While this is only in one area of his skill set, you hate to think of your child being behind in anything. He is also way behind in his communication skills, his social skills, yada, yada, yada. As a parent you start having fears of his future and all the struggles that are to come his way. Will he ever be able to catch up to peers his age and will be ever be able to answer my questions without getting frustrated. However this is not the route I plan to take.

Being positive is not normally my strong suit. I usually think of worst case scenario in almost all other aspects of my life but when it comes to Madden, or I should say my kids in general, I refuse to be negative. Madden brings me joy beyond words and has shown such improvement in these past 2 years that I know he will continue to grow in his knowledge and learning. The other high note from our diagnosis is the fact that the doctor's believe he is high functioning. Autism is the diagnosis, but the severity level of it determines so much. The range goes from high functioning to low functioning. High functioning like Madden means he is verbal, gives eye contact, and is not sensitive to touch. People on the low side of the spectrum are nonverbal, don't give eye contact, and don't like any form of touch. There are of course other criteria that fit in there but I won't bother with all the details right now. Madden is verbal and that means he will most likely be able to improve his verbal skills and hopefully someday hold a very normal conversation with us. Those are the things that I strive for with my son and I will do whatever I have to to try and get him the services he needs to get there. Just as I am sure any parent would move heaven and earth for their child if they had to!

Motivated!

Another year without blogging, but I refuse to give up. With as much as there is going on with us, I know that if I don't start writing it all down somewhere I am going to end up forgetting things. So here is the latest on each of the kids.

Madden - We are right in the middle of getting him tested for Autism. We have already done the speech evaluation and in 2 days we are going to get DDBP evaluation which I think is somewhat like a Psych Eval.. Stemming from the Speech evaluation we got a referral for Madden to start getting regular speech therapy through Cincinnati Children's. The good part about Madden's speech is that he speaks clearly and you can understand everything he says. The bad part about it is that his speech is for the most part not functional. By that I mean you can't hold a conversation with him, and or he can't answer a simple question for you. So many of the things that a lot of parents may take for granted like asking your child what he wants to eat for dinner would be a huge milestone for us to get an answer to. He has made such great strides over the last few years and I know he will get to a point soon where he will be able to talk and hold a normal conversation with us. School starts in a few weeks and I am feeling excited and nervous about it all. Excited that he will be getting structured academics and have an outlet from the house for him to explore and enjoy. Nervous because he has a new teacher and I know nothing about her. We have been so blessed to have a loving, wonderful, teacher the last 2 years where I knew he was getting the love and attention he needed. This is going to be a new school and new teacher so I feel like he is going to be very overwhelmed in the beginning, but hopefully over time everything will fall into place and this new teacher will be just as wonderful as our dear Mrs. Greiner! Current obsessions with Madden are his humidifier "Pete" and pretty much anything that plugs into the wall like the vacuum, fans, or even an old clock radio he found down at Man time with daddy. He is very sweet and loving and a joy to be around. We just started going to King's Island this year with the kids and it is so fun to watch Madden on the rides. He will ride anything and seems to have a great time in whatever he does. His favorite rides are the Woodstock Express, the log flume, and the airplanes.  I literally could go on and on but maybe for the time being I will stop there. To be continued...

Lainey- This little girl is one big ball of craziness. She LOVES using my Kindle, which she refers to as "computer cards." We literally have to take it away from her or else that is all she would do all day. It is quite amazing watching her use it, she know how to navigate that sucker with the greatest of ease. She knows exactly which apps she wants to play, how to use each app, and where they are located to get to them. She is a computer wizard :) She is still babbling a lot and not saying very long sentences at this point. You can tell she has a lot to say but can't really figure out how to say everything she is wanting to get out. She knows all her colors and shapes, and we just started working on identifying letters and numbers. She also just learned how to count different things. She could count to 20 before but didn't really know the relevance to it. Now she loves to count her fingers and different things we ask her to count that we find. Lainey LOVES to watch shows. Her favorite shows right now are Cinderella, Toy Story (all of them), Wreck it Ralph, Frosty the Snowman, Rudolph, Dora the Explorer, and anything pretty much on Nick Jr.. It is fun having her yell out, "Look Mommy a _____." She is so excited about the world around her and wants to make sure we are not missing out on it either. She also loves to sing and read books. I will say that Miss Lainey does have a bit of a temper when things don't go her way, but for the most part is pretty content.

My children can make me crazy and sometimes there are days when I have had enough of them. It isn't any sooner that I get a little downtime for myself and I miss them terribly and can't wait to see them again. I am sure this speaks true to all parents, but I do love my babies with all my heart and would not trade anything about either of them for anything in the world.

UPDATE!!

It has been way too long in between posts. There is no excuse, except for the fact that I have been trying to keep my sanity. Summer used to be what you looked forward to as a child, as a much needed break from school. Being a parent however puts summer in a whole new perspective.

 Don't get me wrong, I love my babies with all my heart but after getting used to a 2 1/2 hour break everyday, then it suddenly stopping, kind of takes a toll on me. Madden is such a wonderful child and I wouldn't trade him for anything, but I can tell that he is bored and I literally don't have the gumption to put my whole heart and soul into entertaining him or Lainey. I will be brutally honest and say that there are many times a day when I kind of tune the children out and have some mommy time.  I have ALWAYS fed myself breakfast first before my kids. Doesn't that make me sound awful?? Honestly though, I get super sick feeling if I don't eat as soon as I get up. I do at least get Lainey a bottle of milk and make Madden a cup of milk to tide them over. Frankly the bottle is the only thing Lainey wants anyway so she is happy as soon as it hits her mouth. Then there is Madden who is NEVER in any big rush to eat unless it is chips or cookies, so he for sure could care less when I get around to making him breakfast. The system has worked without fail, and I feel blessed that my kids are so adaptable to the ever changing atmosphere's around them. Things could always be a lot worse and I know that I have it sooooo much better than a lot of other mom's out there.

So with Summer coming to a close (HOORAY!) and Fall just around the corner, this is when I am at my happiest and most zen. School will be starting soon and I know how much Madden is looking forward to it. We went up to see Mrs. Greiner at the new school yesterday and Madden and Lainey had a great time exploring everything. So much so that Lainey balled when I made her leave. I have never felt sad about taking Madden to school, as most parents feel sad I feel like I am doing the best possible thing I could do for him. He gets so much out of school that he would not be getting with me as a teacher and I don't feel bad saying that because it's the truth.

I have to take Madden to his 4 year check up in a few days and I need to talk to his doctor about getting him to the ophthalmologist for his eye, and about him possibly being on the Autism spectrum. Depending on how the visit goes I will get a better idea if we want to stay with the pediatrician we already have or seek out a new one. I have never LOVED my pediatrician as so many other parents do. I kind of long for the relationship that so many others have with their child's doctor, so I am giving her one more chance to reel me in and then I am out.

So that is a quick update and I will try and keep this up better in the days to come. I need to remember to blog so that my children can use this as a reference later in life!

Busy times ahead!

Well folks while it has been a quiet couple months of no traveling the Richards family is headin on the road again. First up a trip back to Alton for a much needed visit for the grandma's! The following weekend a trip up to Michigan to visit the Richards clan, then a much needed week off back in Cinci. Phew I am getting exhausted already, but oh wait then the weekend after that is the big trip to Atlanta. I will have more about that later in my write up. Then a week after that will be another trip back to Alton to celebrate me and my mama's birthday. June is going to be one big blur and I can only hope and pray that my children will be on their best behavior as they will be pretty much living out of their car seats.

I probably shouldn't be subjecting the kids to the car ride to Atlanta but hear me out on this. Once a year Thomas has a mandatory Actuarial seminar that he has to attend in order to get the credits he must acquire per calendar year to maintain his A.S.A. Wow that was a lot of words!! Anywho, when we found out that was going to be an annual occurrence I told Thomas that if it was in driving distance that we would try and make a trip out of it. Obviously if this conference was in California he's be leaving on a jet plane, but since this is Atalnta and when I mapquested it said it would only be a 7 1/2 hour drive I had to make a decision. Should we stay or should we go. Last year the trip was in Indianapolis, being that it was so close to home and Lainey was only a few months old I decided to see if my mom would be willing to come out and help me with the kids. That worked out wonderfully and while I was half tempted to see if I could have her or Cheryl come back out this time I chose not to in the end. I really love having my family unit and the thought of not having Thomas/Daddy around for a few days made me sad, of course this is my heart talking. My head on the other hand was saying, " ARE YOU NUTS!" Why would you want to put the kids through another car ride, and ultimately have to babysit them in tiny hotel room all by your lonesome for a good three days! I went back and forth on this for as long as I possibly could and asked Thomas repeatedly what he thought we should do. Of course he kept telling me over and over that he was good with whatever I decided. Thanks hon for all your help ; ) Finally it got to the point where Thomas had to let his work no either way whether he was going to be flying or not. So I said to Thomas, "Should I go with my head or my heart?" He replied "Heart." So we all know what that means, ATLANTA HERE WE COME! Yes, it is going to be pretty miserable while Thomas is at his conference during the day but I have a mall and Target within walking distance of the hotel. That can always keep me occupied. We will also be going to the Aquarium on Monday as a family, so we will have a little bit of family time through it all. I am going to make the best of it and make sure to give my kids a good experience through it all.

On another note tomorrow is Madden's last day of school for the year. It makes me sad to think that one year is already done, but I can't express enough how unbelievably important it has been in his development. He is talking more than ever and we are actually getting requests for things. I will admit that it has been a bit of a struggle with Madden for the simple fact that you want to be able to understand him, ecspecially as parents. For the longest time I kept wondering if it was something I was doing wrong, but in all actuality he did need help and the school district agreed with me. So here we are today with a much more communicative child and I couldn't be happier.

Here are a few of my favorite mobile photo's. Couldn't write a post without putting up a few pics!

It's been a while......

I had to jot down a few words just to let people know that I am still here! I am planning on catching up on here hopefully tomorrow. In the mean time a couple quick snapshots of my babes.

 As you can tell Madden is going through a silly smile phase. Ha!